Hell Is Other People
by melraemorgan
Summary: Wilson has BIG secret! How will he keep House from finding out? Wilson has taken off and no one knows where he is. House is so desperate he has enlisted the help of Lucas.
1. Chapter 1

A/N : This is my first fanfic and I messed it up big time because I accidentally uploaded a rough draft of the first several chapters. I am sure this version could use some more revisions as well but I feel the urge to correct my uploading error more compelling than precision.

Disclaimer: I do not own House…

Please read and review I need all the feedback humanly possible.

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House awoke with the sun in his eyes he had slept on the couch again. Looking around bleary eyed he thought to himself 'I woke up before Wilson… Hmmm a mystery' he pulled his legs around and grabbed his cane off the coffee table and prepared for the arduous daily task of standing on his leg. House pulled himself up and grunted with effort ,the flash of pain evoking a small gasp from him. Standing and massaging his leg to get the blood going he headed to the john . On the way he decided to wake Wilson … with a small grin he banged on his friends door as loud and as hard as was humanly possible and shouted "WILSON!!!!!! Wake up!!! We are late to work!!!' When Wilson didn't answer he began to wonder if he had already left …"Okay I am coming in so don't be in any embarrassing positions!!!"

House opened his friends door with a broad flourish, and heard Wilson's soft whisper "House, please…I think I have the flu". House's eyes took everything in around him and approached Wilson's bed and said "Flu? Don't you get the vaccines? "House plopped down on the edge of the bed and reached out to feel Wilson's forehead surprised to see how hot Wilson was to the touch…"Wilson you have a fever. You need to rest to day and I will tell Cuddy you are sick." He walked out of the room and headed to the kitchen to get his friend some water, Gatorade, and Ibuprofen. "Wilson, wake up ! You need to take these."House helped him sit up to take the pills, Wilson looked up at his scruffy friend and whispered 'thanks'. " Just don't give it to ME!" was all House could muster in the way of acknowledging his friends thanks. House wondered if he ought to stay but figured Wilson would feel better after his fever went down in a couple of hours, he would check on him during his lunch break.

Wilson was awake now and aware of his miserable aching muscles, he felt awful, his throat was sore and the fever made him shiver as it was rising. He hated being sick, so much so he was hyper vigilant in his precautions. Being an oncologist he couldn't allow himself to accidentally infect his immunocompromised patients, so he made sure he had every vaccine for every flu strain that was available. For him to get the flu was a statistical anomaly. He mulled this over in his febrile mind for a few seconds and soon fell back asleep.

When house arrived at work he stopped by Cuddy's office to inform her about Wilson. He was nervous considering the whole Lucas thing and her rejection of him. He swept it under his rug of imperviousness and walked into her office as if the whole thing had never happened. Cuddy looked up at him trying to hide her surprise and play her own denial game. House said " Wilson's sick." He announced. " What's wrong with him?" she asked. " House took a breath and said " He thinks it's the flu." Cuddy raised her eyebrows in a questioning arc and said " How in the world would Wilson of all people get the flu? He is so OCD about preventing it." House smiled and said " I know, kinda funny isn't it? I am going to check on him in a few hours because he is running a fever " Cuddy smiled warmly at this because this was a new House standing here admitting he cared for his friend and wanting to show it. House snorted at her look and said " Don't get any ideas about me being 'CARING' I just want to make sure that's what it is." With that House turned and stalked out of her office . She sighed and said to the empty room "Of course I should have known it was about the puzzle".

House stopped by the pharmacy to stock up on some things for Wilson, and went to the clinic and "borrowed" a thermometer. He told his team he was leaving for the day as they had no case and Wilson was at home sick with the flu. They looked at him quizzically, Mayfield really had made an impact on House after all.

Wilson rolled over and groaned, as he awoke. His fever seemed to have abated for now, and the achiness was much improved. He had to pee, that was a good sign too, so he strode to the bathroom ,by the time he got there he was panting and fatigued . 'dehydrated' he thought just as the headache assaulted his temples and filled his head with the pounding of his heart. He decided he would sit a bit longer…He had fallen asleep when the bang of the door jolted him into reality. "Wilson? WILSON!!!! Where the hell are you?" House's yelling was a comfort to him, he was relieved to hear him. House found him there asleep on the pot, if Wilson were more conscious he would be mortified, as it was now all he could muster was a whispered 'thank you House'. "Come on you ninny, let's get you back to bed, so I can check you out"

By the next morning the fever had passed and Wilson was ready to get back to work. House was relieved but still wanted to be cautious." House you are being overprotective, I am fine, it was just a bug after all, and I am not dehydrated. I need to get back to work, I have patients waiting." House looked at him and knew that what he was saying was true, Wilson looked fine but something in the back of the diagnostician's mind was troubling him. He couldn't say what it was yet so he just said "Okay boy wonder oncologist, go back to work, but take it easy" Wilson laughed "Yes mom" privately he was a bit shocked by the real change he was seeing in his misanthropic friend.

By the time they arrived at Princeton Plainsboro ,they had resumed their banter. Wilson was glad because he was somewhat unnerved by House's sudden evolution into an almost 'demonstrative' human being. House had decided that he was being overly cautious and moved on to the day ahead .

Wilson walked into his office and said "Bye House see you at lunch?" House replied "Yeah, I need to steal your fries…" and waggled his brows at his friend as he limped on to his team and office. Inside his office alone finally Wilson kept the lights off, and sank onto the couch feeling exhausted already. He knew he should have stayed home but he couldn't take House's "helicoptering" he laughed to himself this was quite a role reversal. He was so tired, he would just rest his eyes for a few minutes. He was out in seconds.

House's team was sitting around sharing Danish and coffee waiting for him "Oooh Danish! To whom do I owe for this ?" He looked at Cameron assuming it was she who brought them in. Cameron said " It was Chase." House fought the urge to make a snide comment about Chase being a suck up and turned to the blonde demi-god and said "Thanks, Chase." And walked over to the coffee , his back to the team. He knew they were staring at him slightly shocked and he didn't want to see their surprise. Foreman broke the stunned silence and asked " How is Wilson?" Glad for the help " House turned to him and said " Fever's gone and he insisted on coming to work, so I guess he's fine…Now do we have a case?" pointing at the blue file in Foreman's hand. They settled in for the differential.

A few hours later the team had decided on the tests they were going to do for their patient and were busy following them up, House realized he was hungry and went in search of Wilson. He passed by Wilson's office , as he could see no lights on and went to Cuddy's office.

Lisa Cuddy was working on her millioneth piece of paperwork and all the numbers were running together, so she almost, welcomed it when House barged in asking her " Hey Cuddy. You seen Wilson? I have a lunch date with his fries."Cuddy couldn't help but smile at the overgrown boy in front of her and said "No , I haven't seen him. Maybe he beat you to the cafeteria so he could have his fries to himself…" she let the thought hang in the air and smirked when she saw a look of mock horror on House's face and he replied "He wouldn't…" and turned on his cane and rushed out the door.

Wilson woke with a start, thinking he had just been asleep for a few minutes…but the glowing numbers on his digital clock told him otherwise. He nearly jumped up off the couch when he realized he had been asleep for nearly four hours. A second realization hit him after he regained his equilibrium 'House…he will be looking for me and there is no way I am going to let him find out I've been sleeping all this time." In fact Wilson couldn't believe his fortune that House hadn't already caught him. He made haste to the cafeteria hoping he would beat House there. By the time Wilson arrived in the line to purchase his food House was walking in the door a few steps behind him. Wilson knew he was there, but waited for House to speak first, as he was a bit out of breath from the near dash he made to get here before his friend. "Don't forget the fries!" House said loudly in an effort to make him jump, he was unsuccessful. " I won't don't worry" Wilson smiled.

They made their way to their usual table, House grabbing fries the whole way. Wilson was relieved to be able to sit down he was feeling a bit shaky…'must be low blood sugar ' he mused. He didn't notice House "noticing" him silently as he scarfed the fries at an impressive rate. Wilson drank his soda hoping that would help him feel better, and paid no attention to his food, he wasn't really hungry anyway. House eyed him curiously as he reached across the fries to steal half of his sandwich thinking that would get a response from Wilson. Wilson sighed and said "You can have it House, I am not all that hungry, just thirsty. I think I am still recuperating." House's piercing gaze silently assessed his friends condition and said " Thanks… don't mind if I do!" hoping Wilson hadn't noticed the pause or the scrutiny. Wilson was beginning to feel better the soda was helping, and he looked up when he realized House had stopped talking. "Crap" he thought. He saw that look in House's eye and knew he had screwed up and given himself away. He decided to engage in damage control before House got any further with the white board in his mind and began trying to diagnose him. "House!Stop!. I am just tired leave it. What is this sudden need to mother me?" House thought about that a moment and came to the conclusion Wilson was probably right he was acting like a 'girl'. "Yeah, yeah your right Wilson, I guess this is the new touchy feely me…ICK!" They laughed together at that. And House finished off the rest of Wilson's food.

Wilson grabbed a cup of coffee on their way out of the cafeteria and headed back to his office determined to get some work done. He left House to his team and sat down at his desk and began working on the mountain of charts before him. He was pleased when House walked in three hours later and said "C'mon Wilson it's five and you are still getting over that bug so finish up we are going home." Wilson looked at the charts he'd finished and felt like he accomplished something so he agreed "Okay, MOM" he sneered enjoying his opportunity to tease House. House just ignored him and they walked out to the car.

The ride home was filled with House briefing him on the case they had caught. Wilson was grateful to listen as his energy had plummeted again and didn't want House to pick up on it. House rambled on like he didn't notice Wilson's near silence, but he did, and he was starting to get that nagging prickle in the back of his neck, the one that told him something is wrong. His mind said 'You are being stupid House. The guy just has the flu' but his gut felt differently.' You're just scared because things are going pretty well and you want to manufacture a crisis to make you feel better…Wow, Nolan would be proud' he thought with a smile. He decided to let it go and just let Wilson recover his own way. Wilson was so exhausted he didn't clue into what was happening in House's head like he normally would. For the time being he was safe from House's tendency to diagnose everyone.

They trudged up the stairs to the apartment and Wilson flopped onto the sofa slightly breathless. House through his backpack down by the door and limped to the kitchen to get Wilson a drink, he figured his roommate was still a quart low from all the sweating he did yesterday. Not wanting Wilson to give him a hard time he said from the fridge "Hey, you want some water too?" Wilson sighed and said "Yeah that would be great" he wished he had asked him if he wanted a beer instead, the whole water thing just meant House was still concerned. "What should we eat? House asked as he handed the bottle of Fiji water to him. Wilson wasn't hungry but knew he had to eat or this was going to become a 'thing' quickly. He replied to House " Pizza?" "Sounds good!" House agreed. At that Wilson decided to drag himself to the bathroom and take a shower before the food arrived. He stood up cautiously and went to get some sweats from his room and then to the bathroom. "Gonna shower and change, why don't you check out what you have Tivoed while I do that" " Do I get to pick?" House asked surprised. "Wilson laughed as he walked down the hall and said " When do you EVER not pick?" 'Things were getting back to normal there was no need for all that wasted energy of worry' Wilson thought.

The evening was fun in a quiet way but House could see Wilson was still tired so he yawned loudly about nine o'clock, and announced he was "going to his shrine to catch some z's." Wilson was glad he could finally drag himself to bed…He said "Night House." But he stayed up a while longer to try to throw House off the scent. Fifteen minutes later , Wilson collapsed into his bed and fell into a deep sleep.

House stood in the hall watching Wilson sleep and wondered why he was being such a worrywart. He had nothing to go on other than the obvious symptoms of the flu, and Wilson was recovering well, so why was he still so concerned? He paced for a few minutes and decided he had had enough and went to bed himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: This is a short chapter but chock full of angst!!! PLEASE read and review I need the help!!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own HOUSE M.D.

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The next day ,Wilson seemed better, and the day after that even more so. A week went by and the whole illness was a memory for House. However, Wilson had become very adept at hiding his symptoms from House, he would sleep as much as he could in his office, and tried to be as perky as possible at home. But Wilson was starting to worry himself and began to wonder if he didn't have mono. He snuck down to the lab and ran a monospot test on himself, it was negative. Then he thought it might be a vitamin deficiency and began taking his supplements again, that seemed to help and he moved on.

Things were back to their normal quirky rhythm and House was adjusting to the loss of his possible relationship with Cuddy, or at least he was making a valiant effort. And Wilson felt almost normal again until about week later…

Wilson woke up shivering, it was late fall and already quite cold. He got up to pee and turn the heat up. That was when he noticed his pajamas were drenched with sweat… slightly alarmed he trod to the bathroom as quietly as possible praying House wasn't experiencing insomnia. He peed and washed his hands and caught a glimpse of his image in the mirror…"Shit…" He reached up to his face and saw the blood that had been pouring out of his nose in his sleep. Wilson stared at his reflection, he had lost weight, his face was gaunt and his eyes were hollowed in sunken sockets . "Shit…" He washed the blood off his face returned to his room and stripped his bed as quietly as possible. His heart was pounding but his mind frozen. He had to hide the evidence from House. After he remade his bed he collapsed and tried to return to sleep, but the fear that coursed through his veins and made his heart pound against his chest, made it impossible. He stared at the ceiling and said "shit, shit, shit."

Morning finally came and he rushed to the shower silently cursing as his nose began to bleed again in earnest, he was shaking from the unspoken words haunting him. He had to get to work before he lost it completely. He tried to keep his routine brief but as normal as possible blow drying his hair, drinking his coffee, brushing his teeth… willing himself not to see the bristles of his toothbrush turning pink. He once again caught his reflection but turned away quickly, he would lose it if he looked too closely. All the while Wilson was going through this hell, House was bleary eyed and crabby, bitching about Wilson's "preening". The running rant had the odd effect of helping Wilson maintain the last vestiges of his composure. The ride to work was agonizing but he held it together, he couldn't let House suspect anything so he played along.

House's brain started to awaken halfway there, his caffeine properly titrated. He became aware of Wilson's tenseness. He turned to appraise his younger friend, trying to see what the problem was. He saw Wilson's perfectly coiffed hair, starched and pressed and suitably necktied, everything seemed nominal. So what was bugging him? He finally decided to say something when Wilson pulled into their parking spot. He felt House scanning him heard his wheels turning, so he said "House I gotta go I have to present a patient to the drug trial board and I have some more research to do" and Wilson walked away at an alarming rate. "See you at Lunch?" House yelled to him. "Wilson yelled back "Maybe." Wilson exhaled with relief when his nose hadn't decided to bleed and tried to enjoy the last few moments he had left, before he knew, for sure… He snuck into an exam room at the clinic and stole a few vaccutainers and a syringe and headed for his office. Once inside he locked the door and kept the lights as low as possible. Doing your own blood draw is a bitch, especially when your hands are trembling with adrenalin, but somehow he managed. He put his lab coat on and slipped the vials of blood in his pocket and went straight to the lab, praying no one would stop him for chit chat or a consult on the way. Fortunately the lab tech's were used to the oncology attending running his own labs,so they thought nothing of it when he began running the CBC himself. In twenty minutes he would have some answers, the work itself kept his mind occupied for that time. He was almost able to pretend this was someone else's blood he was testing. He pulled the tape from the machine, afraid to read the numbers printed there. Lymphocytes L 30,000 , RBC L , Platelets L 70,000 the numbers began to blur he couldn't read them anymore, he was trying to keep from collapsing tears were burning his eyes. All he could say was "shit…" He tried to calm himself with deep breaths he still had to look at the slide. He smeared his blood on the slide and stuck it under the microscope clips. And steeled himself for what he knew he would see. He confirmed what his oncologist brain had already surmised hours ago. James Evan Wilson, Boy Wonder Oncologist, had leukemia.

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SOoooooo Whaddya think? READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Well this is all I have so far...Be stay tuned more is coming. I need to do some research to make the next part realistic.

Disclaimer: I do not own HOUSE M.D.

READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help a NEWB out!!!!!!

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House walked into the cafeteria looking for Wilson, he knew there was a chance he wouldn't be there, but it was worth a shot. As he waited in line to actually PAY for his own food his mind began to fly off in tangents he didn't have a case right now so he had spent the morning working on the five different articles he was submitting to JAMA and NEJM, this allowed his brain free rein, his lightening intellect landed on Wilson's recent silence. He worried Wilson was growing tired of him living with him. He wasn't sure he could handle living alone right now, or at all even. He tried to hide how vulnerable he really was, though he was sure his best friend had a pretty good idea. Still, he knew what an imposition it was on Wilson. He wanted to try to be appreciative, without it getting so weird. House was scared of being alone, afraid he would lose it again, afraid he would walk down that road of self destruction and never make it back. He was now freaking himself out and decided he wasn't hungry and headed back to his office to think.

Wilson, walked in a daze to his office and shut the door and locked it. He nearly fell to his knees, on the way to the couch. His breathing was ragged, he was struggling not to scream, or hyperventilate, he wasn't winning on the last count. "Slow down your breath Wilson" he said aloud. "You cannot afford to pass out in your condition…." What the fuck was he going to do? What about House? By the looks of things he didn't have any time to dick around, this thing was moving fast. He needed a bone marrow biopsy and he sure as hell couldn't do one on himself. Who could he trust? Should he ask Cuddy? Would she be able to handle it? Would she be able to keep it from House? What about Chase or Foreman? No their absence could arouse House's suspicions. He had to tell Cuddy ,and tell her now. There was no one else. Feeling like his limbs were made of lead, he rose off the couch and headed to her office.

Wilson was relieved to see Cuddy was alone in her office, he watched her for a moment hating to do to her what he was about to do. He knocked on her door she looked up and smiled waving him in. Her expression changed as when she saw his face. Something was wrong, horribly wrong. She stood up to greet him and closed the distance between them. Wilson reached up and closed the blinds and locked the door, Lisa walked to the couch and sat and waited for him to speak. Her heart was in her throat. Wilson turned from the blinds and nearly crumpled to the floor in front of her he steadied himself on the coffee table and sat down next to his boss, and his friend. "Lisa…I… I have leukemia" With that he lost it and began sobbing…She was stunned. She reached out her arms and held him as he cried, she cried with him.

The cruel irony that this wonderful kind man who devoted himself to healing people with cancer would be struck with the very disease he specialized in enraged her. Hadn't he been through enough? Hadn't they all? Oh My GOD what about House? This had the potential of costing both of these men she loved their lives. Wilson's sobbing subsided , he was fading quickly. He had spent his adrenalin, and now he was crashing. He hadn't noticed his nose started bleeding again until Cuddy held a tissue with firm pressure on it for him. She stroked his hair as he lay his head in her lap. They were silent for a long time. Finally she said "Show me the CBC" he reached in his pocket and took the lab results out and gave them to her. She saw the numbers, and hissed. "James, we need to do a bone marrow biopsy…NOW" he shook his head weakly." Okay , I will call my babysitter and tell her I am going to be late, you have to tell House you have to work late." Wilson looked at her with fear in his eyes and said "I..I can't. I am afraid I will lose it. He can't know, I can't tell him, he isn't strong enough Lisa." Cuddy looked at him wondering why she was surprised that, even now, Wilson would do anything to protect House. She thought for a moment and came up with a plan. She would tell House Wilson had to go to Princeton General for an emergency consult, and that Wilson would meet him at home later. Cuddy explained her plan to the nearly broken man next to her and he nodded in agreement. She told Wilson "Stay here with the lights off and rest, you need it. I will lock the door." She squeezed his hand tenderly and rose to go. Wilson hoarsely whispered "Thank you Lisa…Thank you" she smiled back a gentle poignant smile and said "You're welcome Wilson". In the harsh light of the hall Cuddy was sure someone might notice she had been crying so she faked a sneeze into a tissue so she could blame it on allergies and walked to House's office. When she arrived she could see he was in a pensive mood sitting in his Eames chair staring out at nothing. 'Damn ' she thought he may already suspect something, and with Houses keen observation and the relatively obvious symptoms she was sure Wilson had, it wouldn't take the genius long to figure out.

"House?" she asked breaking his reverie." Are you all right?" He turned to her with those impossible blue eyes and said "Yeah, why?" She said "Well you seem a bit preoccupied that's all" House said "It's nothing, what can I do for you Cuddy?" She tried to act calm and normal, it was fraying her nerves . "Wilson asked me to tell you he had an emergency consult at General so he will be late, and he wants you to save him something to eat." House looked at her and said "Okay, ummm, thanks…" House was wondering why Wilson didn't just call him and was about to ask when Cuddy chimed "Oh and he can't find his phone so that's why he asked me to tell you." Something wasn't right here…House's radar perked up 'I wonder what is going on with Wilson' … Then it hit him maybe Wilson needed some time to himself…With that thought in mind he decided to let Cuddy's lie go. He said to her again "Thanks Cuddy" and dismissed her with a wave.

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I also would love a Beta reader to help me out with the rest of this in case anyone is interested. Thanks . READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Cuddy, left House and hurriedly went about setting up a procedure room in the clinic for Wilson's bone marrow biopsy. Fortunately it was well after five and the clinic was deserted. She couldn't help but worry about how she was going to keep this from House, of all the things that had the potential to destroy him this was it. Her mind turned to her dear friend Wilson, now her patient. What a bunch of crap this was, why did James have to have so much pain and suffering in his life? Furthermore she was scared she wasn't qualified to handle his treatment or even his diagnosis. She was after all his friend and his boss surely that made her ill equipped to be clinical… No matter, Wilson was now her patient and she would do whatever it took to save him. She had the biopsy kit ready to go and the room prepared, now she had to find a way to sneak Wilson in here without being seen.

Wilson lay in the dark of Cuddy's office completely spent, but he couldn't shut off his mind. The oncologist in him was trying to type is disease, trying to be dispassionate and very medical about the whole thing. The fear in him was threatening to subdue his rational thought. He supposed every doctor at sometime must consider the possibility that something like this would happen to them, after they were doctors not gods. Wilson had been there hundreds of times, seen the faces of his newly diagnosed patients, thought he was prepared, thought he had a pretty good understanding what is felt like…He was wrong. His brain tried to keep a foothold in the science, the medical, but his heart would have none of it…He was falling off a cliff into an abyss of fear, regret, and over whelming grief for himself and those he loved. He had no clue before… His doctorly empathy and hand holding seemed so ridiculous and empty now. He had been enlightened, reborn into the role of cancer patient. He clung to this as it gave him a direction, something to do, a distraction from the white hot rage that threatened to consume him.

House sat in his car looking at 's phone number debating on whether he should call him. He hated admitting that he was feeling nervous and distacted, he cringed at the thought of saying the words "I am afraid I will use again" but he knew if he left himself to his own devices he would end up at best where he started ,at worst dead. He was thankful he wasn't the department head right now because he doubted he could diagnose his way out of a wet paper bag, he was too focused on trying to stay sane, constantly worried he wasn't going to succeed. And now things with Wilson seemed weird, he used to be able to read him with certainty but now he found sobriety did not afford him the arrogance that Vicodin had. He had to do this, had to call Nolan because he was in control of his life now, NOT his demons. Feeling emboldened by this new logic he hit send on his phone and told Nolan what was bugging him.

Cuddy unlocked her office door and turned the lamp on . Wilson opened his eyes and said "hey". She replied "I am glad you are still awake I have everything ready to go " and walked over to him to help him up off the couch. When did he get so thin she wondered? Admonishing herself for not noticing. James saw the look on her face and said "Stop Lisa, no one would have noticed…"there was a silence and something unsaid reverberated between them 'no one but House…'. They walked out of her office into the empty hallway taking their time because both were afraid Wilson would collapse. The coast was clear and they entered the clinic and went straight to the procedure room. James nearly lost it then when he looked at the tools of his trade, the patient gown, and realized they were all for him.

Lisa sensed his despair and matter of factly said" Wilson stay with me, I need you to get out of your pants" The ignominy of this just blew away his last tenuous thread of denial and he began to leak silent tears of humiliation. "shhh it's okay…come on I will help you" Cuddy helped him get into a gown and then removed his pants as he sat on the table hoping to make it less embarrassing for him. It didn't work he just felt so stupid that this was happening to him, stupid that he was feeling so ashamed, but he couldn't stop. " James you know how this works, so I need you to lie down on your stomach and I will give you a local, you have no allergies do you?" he nodded "good, this will sting" He was surprised by how much it did… he had given this same lidocaine injection to patients thousands of times and never realized the discomfort it created, but the pain without it would be far worse. The sat in silence as Cuddy waited for the numbing agent to take effect. " Okay James, it's time to take the aspiration, you know how this works" he swallowed, his throat dry, and said "yeah, I'm ready". picked up the device and felt for the top of Wilson's hip bone and pushed it in as deep as she could, her hand shaking with the effort. James hissed in pain …"I know , but be still we have to get a good sample" his silence was his agreement. It was over in a few seconds and she had a sample it looked like enough but it was a bit sparse. He said to her "Let me see…" she hesitated. "Lisa show me…now." She debated with herself a moment and turned around and showed him the sample. For a second he was all oncologist, he was going about the business of medicine, he forgot temporarily he was the patient. " Well, that doesn't look very good," referring to the pale sample before him . "James we can't know anything until we do the tests, so stop." "yeah I guess" Wilson replied absently, suddenly feeling as if he were going to vomit and pass out simultaneously. Cuddy saw him blanche, and said "Are you okay?" with that he blacked out.


	5. Chapter 5

Lisa Cuddy was in a bit of trouble, she was alone in the clinic with a leukemia patient that has crashed and can tell no one. "Wilson?!" she shook his shoulders trying to get a response, nothing. "WILSON!" she yelled this time and rubbed her knuckles on his sternum. "Ouch…"he said weakly and tried to open his eyes. "Cuddy quit yelling someone will hear you…" "Wilson stay awake we have to get you out of here I need to admit you." His eyes flew open at that "No! I am not ready, we can't let House know" Look Wilson, we aren't going to be able to hide it from him for long, frankly I am surprised he hasn't figured it out already. The fact is you are neutropenic, and your platelets are quite low, you need to be in the hospital." "No, it was just postural hypotension, I am fine I need to get home to House after we do the marrow." Seeing the bulldogged determination in his eyes she acquiesced "But ,you are riding in a chair no bitching."

Cuddy wheeled him down to the elevators and the rode silently down to the lab,when they arrived to the floor Wilson stood up and walked out of the chair "That is not what we discussed…" "Yeah well if you think I am riding into the lab in a wheelchair you're crazy…" They walked into the lab and saw that no one was in there, with a sigh of relief Wilson sat down at the counter and Lisa brought him the sample and the tools necessary to test it with. "So what are you thinking?" He cleared his throat and said "Well probably AML, possibly ALL which variant I can't even guess, but I seem to have an aggressive process from the looks of this marrow." "Just run the test, then we can quit guessing" He turned to prepare the slides. What seemed an eternity later he said " Okay well here goes…" he clipped the slidein place and began looking at the cells in the marrow…" Ahem , well it's not AML …" Lisa's heart sank, ALL in adults was harder to treat and achieve full remission, and there was the issue of the markers, certain markers made the disease nearly impossible to treat with any success. "Wilson, I…" "yeah me too." He deadpanned.

They left the lab and found the wheelchair where they left it,"Wilson we need to start a file on you and we need these results, we also need those marker tests done , and we need it tonight" "Lisa How? How am I gonna keep this from him? Especially if you try to admit me…" She looked at him with concern and said"Did it ever occur to you that you should tell him? You know he has done a lot of changing lately and he might appreciate you letting him know. And you know if he finds out some other way he is going to be angry and hurt" Wilson replied " He's already hurt!... He's very upset about you and Lucas, and how he's lost you… I just can't do this to him when he's already down" She didn't know what to say, she knew House was upset but she hadn't taken his overtures seriously… she was a fool. "Damn, this is so screwed up…Wilson you have a point but now we are talking about your life…Losing you would not be conducive to his mental health, nor mine. So we are going to go admit you before an infection kills you before you even start chemo, leave House to me." She looked down and Wilson had passed out again, she took him to the third floor oncology ward and found him a room, told the staff to keep their mouths shut , and gave them labs to be drawn. Once Wilson was settled in he began to come around again, "Cuddy? "Yes James?" "Would you get House, please…" Yes James, I will. We'll be back soon" he shook his head and fell back asleep.

The drive to the apartment was one filled with anxiety and doubt, but Lisa knew it was the right thing to do .They had to stop all the stupid manipulating and game playing that had been part of their relationships for so long. She should have at least told Wilson she had been dating Lucas, so House would have been spared finding out that way. And now this …. It was going to be hard enough without a bunch of subterfuge. Maybe House going to Mayfield was changing them all for the better. She hoped so , because she didn't want to lose them both.

House actually felt better after talking with Nolan, go figure. He was now beginning to watch the clock, and wonder where the hell Wilson was when there was a tentative knock at the door." He hoisted himself off the couch and grabbed his cane in one swift movement ,the knock came again a bit louder" I'm coming hold your horses I have to get my wallet!"thinking the knock was from the Chinese delivery guy. He threw open the door impatiently and was surprised to see her."Cuddy? To what do I owe this annoyance? He snarked hiding how shaken he was to see her. "House I need to talk to you let me in…"He began to protest but the look on Cuddy's face stopped him. "What's wrong?" " House, please let's just sit down" Oh shit, his insides clenched this isn't good" Cuddy just tell me!!! Contrary to popular belief I am not so fragile that I can't handle hearing the truth!!! " " I know House and I am sorry but I am the one who needs to sit down" she did look bad "yeah you look like crap, here sit down" "Thanks" she murmured. She sat on the couch and House began pacing in his peculiar way, his mind throwing things up on his inner whiteboard and scratching them off as stupid , or unthinkable. Lisa could see his distress mounting."House , calm down and listen." And she began talking…He heard something about Wilson but it didn't make sense, she had to be wrong. He would have noticed wouldn't he? "House …Greg? Did you hear me? Do you understand what I just said? " "It SOUNDED like you said Wilson, my Wilson has leukemia, but that can't be right, is this another one of your really bad practical jokes/teach House a lesson things?" "No, I almost wish it were…" He stared at her red rimmed leaking eyes and knew it was true… suddenly he couldn't breathe, the blood was roaring in his ears, he heard a choked sob coming from somewhere…he wanted to run, more than he had ever wanted to run since his leg. "Greg, Greg? You need to breathe ! " She shook him. He could feel her warm hand on his arm…it brought him back. He couldn't deal with this, all this raw untamed emotion , he had to shut it off. He began breathing deeply like Nolan had taught him to do when he felt reality slipping away. He opened his eyes to stay grounded, when he was feeling a little more control he said "Where is he? What are his counts?" House had turned his brain to the problem , that was all he could handle right now. Lisa had been devastated to watch him and see the shock and terror of what she had said, written on his face. It unsettled her to see him this way, to see him as Human. She was ashamed to be relieved when he put the mask back in place."Cuddy ANSWER ME!!!" she looked at him and sighed "Get your stuff, I'll take you."

They rode in silence for a while, until he said "Lisa,…please …tell me what you know" She told him, about how Wilson had done his own CBC that day, How he had awoken in the night drenched in sweat and blood pouring from his nose, she told him about Wilson telling her and how they had cried in her office, and then she told him about the bone marrow biopsy, and admitting him." And do you know House, the only thing he cared about was protecting you…" That was it, that was the straw that broke House's back…He began to cry quietly at first, and then harder and harder, until he was sobbing, and gasping for air … "Cuddy pulled over and held him as he cried, just stunned by the depths of House's grief. "Shhhh I know…I am so sorry , I am so, so sorry Greg." He began to calm down, and realized where he was and became self conscious of the outpouring of emotion he had just spewed all over Cuddy. "Ummm…Cuddy this never happened" she nodded and started the car back up and drove on to PPTH.


	6. Chapter 6

They walked into the hospital in silence, and straight to Wilson's room. House hesitated a moment took a deep breath and walked in. Wilson was lying with is back to the door facing the window, he heard them walk in, but didn't turn around. His heart was pounding, he was afraid to face House. Cuddy didn't say anything, she just waited. House's gravelly voice broke the silence

"Wilson? Why are you lazing around ,you slacker?!" Wilson smiled and turned and said "Well you know, there's cable in here"

'Oh God, I don't know if I can do this…He looks…' "You look like crap!"

"Thanks, so do you…"

"Yeah, but I ALWAYS look like crap so no biggie" Wilson laughed "True…"

Cuddy walked over and hugged Wilson and smiled a knowing smile.

"Hey, why does he get to get up close with the twins?" House chortled. "Because he isn't an ass…"she grinned as House made a face of mock pain and grabbed his heart."Okay boys, I'll let you hang out just don't get too wild and crazy in here, this is a hospital you know"

"awww Mom you never let us have any fun!" Cuddy laughed and walked out of the room.

House picked up Wilson's chart, and sat down in the recliner next to Wilson. "Hmmm…I see… you have a cold!"

"Yeah, it's just a bad cold. I should be home in a couple of days"

House was taking in all the information from the tests in front of him, realizing the desperate situation his friend was in. His marker tests were back and the results were not good. It was going to make Wilson's treatment difficult, and his prognosis not as favorable. What do you do when the person you love has cancer, and not only is a doctor but an oncologist? You can't sugar coat it, they know exactly what these things mean, there is no room for denial.

"House, I … it will be okay" Wilson said quietly as he noticed his friends hands shaking as he gripped the chart, his knuckles white with the effort.

"James, I …" all he could do is sit there trying not to lose it…he was consumed with rage , and all he could think was 'it should be me…not Wilson'

"Wilson, this is just crap…" he looked at his friend lying there pale and thin his eyes huge in his gaunt face. Wilson replied "Yeah, it sucks…"

House put the chart down. "So what do you want to watch? I'm sure we can find some monster trucks on …" Wilson groaned…"I never get to pick"

They sat there for a while watching tv like they would at home making snarky comments about whatever they were watching. It was what Wilson needed something that resembled normalcy, and House was happy to do that for him.

"House…I'm tired. Can you… sit here until I fall asleep?" House's stomach lurched at that. It was sinking in just how sick Wilson was.

"Sure, there's nothing on anyway…" He turned the television off, turned the lights down and watched Wilson as he fell asleep…He caught himself counting his respirations, watching the monitors…listening to him breathe, clinging to every proof his best friend was here, alive.

Cuddy came back two hours later to find House staring at the sleeping Wilson. She walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Come on House…" He was going to say no but realized there was a lot of things that had to be done to save Wilson, and he was going to do them.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I am still working on this story though I have been disappointed in the quality of it overall, I am, however determined to see it through to its conclusion. I have spent many hours recently reading other House fanfic authors and been inspired to improve my prose dramatically. I originally sought only to force myself to complete a story and to work on my plot development issues, but I am glad that I have found that this is a forum for the total package in a writer, and affords one with the ability to improve on all fronts as an author. That being said I wish I could find a beta reader, my previous attempts have been fruitless.

Disclaimer: I do not own HOUSE M.D.

Wilson awoke in his hospital room alone. He was happy for the solitude. He picked up his chart and began reading the results. For a moment he was simply an oncologist reading a patient's labs, he automatically began thinking of what the next step for the patient would be, began considering the range of options for this patient and the need to decide quickly. He ran through a list of leukemia trials he knew of and determined the patient's eligibility for each. His clinical mind was in charge…until he read the patient's name: Wilson, James Evan. His white coated armor no longer served…He wasn't the clinician…he was without a doubt, the patient. As much as he would have liked to remain calm cool and objective, it was impossible in the face of the irrefutable truth echoed in the name on that chart. He had cancer, HE WAS THE PATIENT… Wilson heard the heart rate monitor jump in cadence, he felt his respirations pick up, his throat tightened, and he was beginning to panic…He just wanted to get out. He wanted to get the hell out of this hospital room, and NOW! He began removing his IV and undoing the heart monitors, he turned off the alarms, he was feeling as if he was going to jump out of his skin the need for flight overwhelmed his fatigue and he pulled himself up and out of the bed…He was dressed and heading to his car in minutes. He was safe for now...

House was sitting at his computer researching everything he could find on Wilson's leukemia and its markers , it occurred to him that he might ASK Wilson what he thought but House knew that Wilson needed someone to take charge for him, whether James would ever admit it was beside the point. What good were all of House's "changes" anyway if he couldn't do this for his friend.

Nolan…yeah , he was going to have to call Nolan in the morning. House had the puzzle part right now to keep him going …but he was self aware enough to know that it would only sustain him briefly, and when that ran out, he was going to be in a very bad state, and Wilson needed him too much for him to flake out now.

Cuddy walked into Wilson's room to check on him and found the bed empty…She went to the bathroom door and called Wilson's name, she used the nurse call button and Wilson's nurse came running. Cuddy's eyes flashed fire as she asked "Carolyn, WHERE is ? I told you to keep an eye on him!!!!" The young nurse's eyes welled up with tears…"I…I…I don't know !He was j-j-just… I saw him 15 minutes ago…" Cuddy glared at her and said " You better hope to God we find him , and soon" the cold tone made it clear that Carolyn was skating on thin ice. Cuddy stomped out in a fury and went to check Wilson's office. After seeing Wilson's office was locked and dark, she went on to House's office, hoping against hope he was in there with his best friend. Her heart sank as she saw House sitting alone at his computer …

House looked up as Cuddy walked in to his office, "Working…" he said in an effort to shut her up before she tried to get him to talk about Wilson.

"House?... Where is Wilson?!..." At that he looked up and narrowed his eyes "What do you mean WHERE is Wilson?" Cuddy sighed and replied "He's gone...somehow he got past the nurses without being seen and left"

"Oh crap! Wilson you IDIOT!!!" he jumped up and with impossible grace and speed, he headed out the door yelling "Cuddy come ON!!!!!"


	8. Chapter 8

Wilson drove around for what felt like hours, he was cold and tired…he was fading fast. He knew he would have to stop soon, but feared House's dogged determination to find him. He didn't want to be found. He wanted time to think, this was all happening too quickly …One day you're "Boy Wonder, Oncologist! " The next you are nothing more than a patient. What was he going to do? He had never considered being here, being the one with cancer. In fact, truth be told, it offended him, he felt almost indignant about it. This, of course, in turn made him feel like an egotistical ass. How supremely arrogant must he be to assume that this could never happen to him? But it had, and here he was riding around in his car, freezing his ass off trying not to pass out, running from the situation. He couldn't cry anymore, WOULDN'T cry anymore, he was just pissed and frankly a bit ashamed. Wilson finally decided he better stop for the night somewhere, so pulled off the highway when he saw a sign for the Hampton Inn. He checked in and was in his room in ten minutes. As he laid his head on the pillow he thought 'this sucks' and he was out in seconds.

House and Cuddy were searching all of Wilson's haunts, calling anyone who might know him or where he was. They came up with nothing. House was beginning to go beyond concern and into panic a day later. They still had no idea where Wilson was. Cuddy tried to calm him down, and suggested that they ask Lucas to help. She was afraid of House's response; she knew it was still a fresh wound for him.

House looked at her "Yeah, we should get Lucas' help. Why don't you call him?" he kept his face a mask giving nothing away about what it was costing him to ask her to call Lucas. Lisa nodded and got her cell out. Fortunately, thanks to House, Lucas already had a wealth of information on Wilson, so it shouldn't be very long before they found him.

Wilson woke early the next morning, too early for as little sleep as he had, but he needed to get moving before House found him. He didn't want to be found, he wasn't ready to deal with what was coming, and in fact he wasn't sure he wanted to "Deal" with it. "What is the point? He has no wife, no kids; he had friends but so what? House, yeah he needed him but so what? He suddenly felt so tired, tired of his life, of all his struggling to get nowhere, and now this…freaking leukemia. His antidepressants were not equipped to handle this angst overload…he laughed at that, it sounded like an emo band name. Was he depressed? No, he felt like he was being perfectly rational. What human being in his position with his knowledge ,with what he was facing, wouldn't be thinking the same thing? Hell if it were House, he would have already made the decision NOT to treat. He sighed and got up from the bed and went to check out.

Lucas looked at House, he was obviously distraught about Wilson, Lucas knew how House felt about Wilson even if House didn't, and after all it was for nearly the same thing House hired him for to begin with. Still it was weird to see his friend/rival so upset. "So, do you think you can help?" Lisa asked him.  
"Yeah, sure, of course…"he answered distractedly. House snarled at him "Quit staring at me and DO something!" Lucas startled and said "I'm on it! Calm down!" He turned to his laptop and pulled the file he had on Wilson and got to work tracing his whereabouts.

Wilson stopped at a diner somewhere outside of Philadelphia, and ordered something. He tried to read the paper but he couldn't concentrate he drank his juice and his coffee but did little but nibble on his food. He kept thinking he should call Cuddy at least to let her know he was safe, but he didn't want to hear the sadness in her voice, and didn't want to chance being traced to where he was. He wasn't feeling very well, he knew he needed to do something quickly or it would be too late. He supposed dying from an opportunistic infection was as good a way to die as any, or internal bleeding from his platelets being so low would be fine too. At least he wouldn't be puking his guts out and losing his hair and experiencing pain… The waitress came over and asked him if he wanted a to go box, he demurred and stood up to pay and leave. The room shifted to the left, he felt himself listing, neurological involvement means his brain was involved…he sat back down….'crap, how am I going to drive?' He felt a warm hand on his shoulder "Hey, are you okay?" he looked up to see who belonged to the voice and the hand. It was a young woman with wheat colored hair, a liberal smattering of freckles sprayed across her turned up nose, and the most amazing green eyes he had ever seen. "Yeah, I am …just tired." She laughed and said "Liar, but keep up the façade if you want." She sat down facing him and waited for his reply with a look that dared him to lie to her some more. "Well, don't mince words, tell me what you really think" He said sarcastically. "I always do. Anyway so what is it? Let me guess… cancer, obviously, ummm I bet it's either a brain tumor, or leukemia." He gasped at her shocking lack of politic, and her amazing ability to diagnose him. "How?…Why?...I mean where do you get off…" He didn't even have the energy to be offended. She smiled and her eyes bore into his soul like emerald lasers. "Well let's just say I am familiar with the look…" He didn't know what else to say so he just stuck his hand out to her and said "James" She laughed at his decision to just go with the flow thinking it wasn't at all like him. "Delilah" they shook hands. "So James, what say we get outta here?" Wilson couldn't believe this beautiful young woman so full of life, so vital, would want to hang out with him a forty year old with leukemia, but decided he didn't care about the why and shook his head yes. "Okay, so don't stand up too quickly this time alright?" He nodded and stood up slowly and he felt better this time.


	9. Chapter 9

Wilson wondered to himself 'What am I doing? 'It was a thought born of curiosity rather than concern. He glanced over at the lovely young woman walking next to him. She caught his eye and smiled.

"James, relax we are just taking a walk."

Wilson blushed. "So why are we taking a walk anyway? I mean I could be an axe murderer "

Delilah laughed heartily "I doubt that! I feel quite safe with you James."

Wilson blanched "Oh, I get it I am not a threat in this condition…"

"No silly, I feel safe with you because you absolutely scream trustworthy good guy"

He smiled "Thanks, I think…" Wilson was starting to tire and began looking for somewhere to sit down.

Delilah was watching him with intense interest she was walking at a good pace and pushing him to keep up; she could tell he was getting tired. 'Good', she thought. 'Now we can see where we stand'

James was beginning to become winded but didn't want to let on. They had walked several blocks by now and he was lost. He started to feel faint 'Crap! Not now.' His vision began to gray around the edges.

Delilah grabbed James' elbow and drug him to a nearby bus bench before he collapsed "James? What are you thinking?" She pushed his head down between his knees.

It took a moment for him to speak "Sorry…guess I just wanted to walk with a pretty girl."

She smiled "You are very sweet James but you are also very ill. I want you to come with me to my clinic, so I can run some tests and give you some fluids."

Wilson looked at her suspiciously "Your clinic? Are you a nurse?"

Delilah laughed in earnest "Typical man! Just assumes I am a NURSE!!! I , my dear James , am a first class oncologist!"

Wilson was taken aback at that. "Oncologist? Where? " 'Crap I hope she doesn't recognize me from some conference or article.' "You are kind of young aren't you?"

"You are too kind James…I am 28 that's not that young"

To Wilson that seemed like a baby…'Damn I feel old'

"In answer to your question my clinic is called Philadelphia Oncology Associates, and I think you need to quit running and get started treating this thing."

Wilson thought about it… 'It would be good to do this anonymously; it would be nice to just be the patient and not Boy Wonder Oncologist WITH CANCER. Before he knew it he heard himself say "Okay, let's do it."

Delilah beamed at him "Good! Follow me." She pulled him up slowly from the bench and turned him around to face the building they had been sitting in front of. He looked up at the marble edifice and saw Philadelphia Oncology Associates Clinic Building.

Wilson laughed "What would you have done if I had said no?"

Her eyes sparkled "You don't want to know."

Wilson was drawn to her in a way he thought he would never feel again. Her freckles and the way she crinkled her nose when she laughed made his heart speed up. Her laugh was like sunshine breaking through the clouds. 'I am so screwed 'he thought.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I keep trucking along, this is turning into a much bigger story than I had originally envisioned. Though I am happy to say I have a destination in view. I hope my writing the dialogue in this format has made it more readable, my thanks to whoever directed me to do that. It was more than one person.

I am working on another little fic that has themes similar to this one where House is concerned, but I am about to delve into much more Wilson in the coming chapters. After all this is a more of a sick Wilson thing.

Disclaimer: I do not own House M.D. But if I did I would hug him and squeeze him and call him George.

Please read and review. As you can see I depend on your criticism and feedback in the hope of improving. Trust me it doesn't fall on deaf ears and does not go toward stroking my fragile ego too much. So overall it is a mildly satisfying experience to give me your words of wisdom.

* * *

House was getting a bit frantic. Lucas had tracked down Wilson's last credit card transaction at a gas station outside of Philly eighteen hours ago, he had also taken six hundred dollars from the ATM there, that six hundred plus the other six hundred he took out in Princeton, meant Wilson now had plenty of cash and would be even more difficult to track. What they didn't realize was Wilson had a stash of cash hidden in his sock drawer of about three thousand dollars, and he had that money as well.

'Where the hell are you Wilson? Why are you doing this?'House paced Cuddy's office like a caged panther. It hadn't escaped him that what Wilson was doing was exactly what he would have done with the exception of telling anyone anything. Wilson could never be that callous.

"House. HOUSE! Would please quit wearing holes in my carpet" Cuddy exclaimed. Cuddy was worried about Wilson but her heart clenched at the sight of House's torment. She hoped they found James soon, for House's sake, as much as his own.

"I need to walk for my leg Cuddy, as you may recall I don't take opiates anymore!" He barked back at her. "Besides this carpet clashes with your drapes…"

Cuddy decided to ignore the comment, secretly glad for the bit of normalcy it brought.

Lucas just sat at the desk trying to be as unobtrusive as possible, still feeling a bit guilty for winning Lisa from House. He had been kind of a jerk at the conference, and though they had been rivals he really did like House. Lucas understood the pain he was feeling over Wilson's illness and disappearance. He knew the best thing he could do was help and be quiet, and it lessened the chance his mouth would get him in trouble again. Plus he couldn't help but think he was winning major boyfriend points by being here.

"Hey, can you find his car using his Lojack?" House asked him.

"Yeah, I already thought of that, but it's a bit harder to do than the credit card search. It will take a few hours because I have to talk to my contact at the monitoring company in the morning."

"Okay, well then I think we should all go home and get some rest and meet back here in the morning."Cuddy said. "Lucas, would you mind getting the car? I need to talk to House for a minute."

"Sure…" He answered, not at all thrilled with the prospect of leaving her alone with House.

After Lucas left, House looked at Cuddy and said quietly "What do you want Lisa?"

Cuddy couldn't believe her ears Gregory House had just been civil at a time when she would have expected him to be his usual obnoxious deflecting self. "Are you alright?" she said with quiet concern.

"No to be honest Lisa I am most definitely NOT alright. The only person I have in this world has cancer and has stupidly run away, and I have to ask the man who is the boyfriend of the woman I love, to help me find him. And just as icing on the cake it is taking every bit of strength I have to keep from drinking myself into oblivion and downing whatever opiates I can find."He was a bit shocked he had laid it all out there, had revealed himself so utterly. But he was tired of holding it all in and knew if he had any hope of surviving this he had to tell on himself. He was afraid of where he would end up, and Wilson needed him, he couldn't afford the indulgence of self destruction.

She stared at him in silence considering her response carefully; this was new ground to be tread upon lightly. "Okay. Is there anything I can do to make this easier?"

House appreciated her measured reply. He couldn't have handled any gushing. "No, not really."

"Are you going to be able to be okay alone?" She hated to ask, but knew she would do him no favors by ignoring the obvious danger of House being left to his own devices, with no Wilson to keep an eye on him."What if you ask Chase to stay with you since it is part of your treatment plan to not live alone?"

He felt himself beginning to become defensive, the anger rising up through his throat. He swallowed hard before answering her. "Yeah, maybe, though Chase has been drinking a hell of a lot lately so I don't know." He couldn't believe he was going to let himself be baby sat but what else was he going to do? He sure as hell wasn't going to stay with Cuddy and be exposed to the horrors of her domestic bliss.

"Maybe you should stay with Foreman?" She offered.

He had already considered that but knew Foreman wouldn't want him there."No, I don't think that works either."

Cuddy's face lit up with inspiration. "I know…! She has no apartment right now and you two seem to get along pretty well…"

"Thirteen?! You want me to ask Thirteen, a girl, to stay with me?" He was shocked by the suggestion, but as he thought about it; it made an odd sort of sense. Thirteen always called him on his B.S. but didn't seem to have actual contempt for him.

"No, I will ask her, and I can see it in your eyes that it works for you."

"Yeah, okay, page her."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Here is version two, reworked and rant free. My apologies to whoever had the misfortune to have read the first draft.

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own HOUSE M.D. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Wilson walked into the clinic with trepidation. He wasn't on his own turf here and it felt strange, he started to hesitate…

"James, come on…I know you're scared but come on, you can't just keep running from this."

Suddenly Wilson felt angry. "Why? Tell me why I can't just run from this! It's my life and I can do what I want with it! And who are you anyway? I don't even know you and you're forcing me to get treatment! You don't even know what I have!"

Delilah gave him a hard, cold, stare. "Are you that much of an idiot? James Wilson?! I may not know what you have, but I sure as hell know who you are! Did you honestly think you wouldn't be recognized by another oncologist this close to Princeton? As to what you have, feel free to enlighten me." She hadn't expected to reveal to him she knew his identity, she was trying to give him privacy, but he gave her no choice.

Wilson just stared at her a little shocked by her vehemence. All he could muster was a stammered "S-s-sorry." He was so tired, all this emotion and walking was taking its toll on him. All he wanted was to lie down somewhere. From the way he was feeling he knew he better at least sit down, or things were going to get even more dramatic, something he was very keen to avoid.

Delilah calmed herself, she had been so shocked to see this man whom she admired ,sitting in her little diner. She had only ever seen him speaking from podiums and daises at various oncology conferences, had seen his photo in several journals, there was no denying how handsome and vital he was. After she had finally worked up the courage to bother him… Then seeing his distress… she felt something in her stir, a twinge, a pang. She supposed it had been in response to her unspoken crush she had on him. 'Get a hold of yourself D, he isn't the oncology god now; he is your patient and he needs you to kick his ass.'

"Well, we better get you to a bed before you collapse, God knows how embarrassing for you THAT would be" she said snarkily.

James Wilson could not believe his ears she sounded like House; she spoke to him without the least bit of deference. And he was grateful for it. He needed this someone to tell him off and not coddle him. He needed to have the mantle of doctor removed, so he could accept treatment. "Yeah, let's do that."

Delilah smiled to herself, careful to hide it from him, and led Wilson to a curtained room with a bed. A nurse tried to approach them on the way there and Delilah shot her a warning glance. She helped him lie down and covered him with a warmed blanket they kept in the warmer for the chemo patients. "James, you rest here while I go take care of the paper work." He started to protest but she stopped him. "Don't worry I am NOT an idiot, I will give you an alias." She saw him relax and waited for him, he to close his eyes. She didn't have to wait long, he was out in seconds.

James was oddly comforted by her presence, and the warmed blanket was heavenly. He felt optimistic for the first time in days. And with that thought he drifted off to a dreamless slumber.

Wilson slept so soundly that he didn't notice her checking his vitals; he even slept through his blood pressure being taken. His BP was low, he needed fluids, and she had to get blood work. As much as Delilah hated to wake him she had to.

"James, James?" he felt someone gently shaking him and calling his name. He didn't want to wake up he was sleeping so well, he was so comfortable, he felt safe. Wilson had no desire to return to the waking world but the voice and the shaking were quite insistent.

"Go away" He grumbled. But the voice would not relent. He opened his grainy eyes to see piercing impossibly green eyes looking at him with concern. "What do you want?" he murmured.

"Well GENIUS I kinda need some blood so I can treat you."

"Oh…yeah."

"You're lucky you woke up I was about to give you a sternal rub…" she said halfway joking.

"My lab results are in my car, back at the diner, including the bone marrow aspiration, and markers tests. I have ALL , Philadelphia chromosome positive." He laughed hollowly.

Delilah knew she had to handle this just right, what he had told her shook her a bit but she couldn't let it show. She decided upon humor and sarcasm as a viable tact, and one he seemed to respond well to previously . She replied archly "It has a certain…symmetry."

Wilson laughed genuinely at that "Yeah, it does. So what next?".

"Let's get a CBC and a Chem. 12 and go from there. I am pretty sure you are anemic and you are running a low grade fever, you are definitely a bit dry. I am not starting anything but normal saline until I see your numbers. As for your car why don't you give me your keys and I will bring it here." He nodded. "Good."

James watched her expertly draw several vaccutainers of blood noticing she drew more than was necessary for the tests she mentioned. He held his tongue, deciding to wait to see what she did with the extra. "Okay, I'll just drop these off at the lab and then go get your car. Oh, and by the way we need to get you into a gown." She saw his discomfort with this prospect and said "Don't worry I'll let you do it, but I will wait outside the curtain while you change just in case."

He exhaled in relief. "Okay…" 'Damn, I feel so stupid and weak.' This whole thing is an exercise in humility; James Wilson had never considered himself particularly egocentric though House often accused him of being so. Now he knew his friend was right, he was an intensely prideful man. 'Get over it Wilson, if you want to live you better just suck it up.' By the time his self recriminations were over he had the hideous gown on and his clothes were folded on the chair. He was tired from changing and welcomed the chance to lie back down.

Delilah heard him getting back into the bed, and poked her head around the curtain. She walked over and started to put an IV in his left hand, he pulled it back. "No, I am left handed." She shook her head, and moved to the right hand. She hung a bag of normal saline, and then wrote something in his chart.

She turned to go and said "Hey, how about those keys?"

"Oh yeah…In my jeans pocket." He pointed at the chair; it was all he could muster. He was so tired. "Hey, uhhh thanks. I …don't feel so good." He whispered.

Suddenly she was overcome with compassion for this man; she knew how much that admission cost him. "Yeah, I know James. Just rest for now and I will be back with enough info to make you feel better."

He simply nodded, keeping his eyes closed. He was exhausted. He knew this fatigue was a bad sign, but he couldn't think straight and he was soon asleep again.

Delilah was worried about how out of it Wilson was. She knew things were going downhill fast. She practically ran to the nurse's station. "I want you to monitor the man in that room while I go to the lab. Get some leads on him, don't worry about waking him. I want him to stay conscious." She told this to the Charge nurse Kelly because she wanted her to handle it personally. Kelly and she had a rapport that made things easy; Kelly always seemed to understand what she needed intuitively. She could relax a bit knowing James was in her capable hands.

By the time she got to the lab her stat CBC and Chem.12 were ready. 'Well he's anemic, and his platelets are very low, his sodium and potassium are a bit low as well. He has some ketones as well.' She would switch him to lactated ringers. 'I'll try to get him to eat later', she was considering a transfusion. 'If not of whole blood, at least platelets.' Delilah, felt better with a direction, and with information. She didn't know if Wilson had gotten the complete labs back on his prognostic factors. They would tell her what to do next.

Kelly was back at the desk, charting her notes on the mysterious handsome patient when Delilah returned. "Any problems?"

"No, he slept through everything, though he seems a bit tachy, probably due to the dehydration."

"Yes, I want you to hang lactated ringers instead. I have to do something, but I will be right back. Just keep an eye on him for me."

"Sure thing Doc." Kelly assured her.

With that she went to get Wilson's car, it suddenly occurred to her that she hadn't asked him what kind of car it was. Her green eyes examined the keychain her hand and saw the Volvo emblem, and the automatic entry fob. 'Thank God something was easy…'


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Finally an update! It is a short one but I think it packs a punch.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own HOUSE M.D.

House's face was a granite mask. Remy, couldn't see what he was thinking. She was pretty sure he was none too happy with this arrangement. But as Cuddy had impressed upon her, the safety contract House's medical license was currently contingent upon, required that he be in a "monitored" living arrangement. So here she was , sitting in a recliner in Wilson's apartment; waiting for House to say something... _anything. _The silence was deafening. She looked at him and sighed.

House was brooding, and ignoring Thirteen, she only had to be here to make sure he was a good boy, he didn't have to talk to her.

'Where was Wilson? Why was he being such an idiot?'

He was avoiding the real question, but he couldn't run from his subconscious, it finally broke through House's carefully constructed denial and reared its ugly emotional, uncomfortable head…

'What if Wilson dies?'

His stomach lurched at the thought. It rang through his brain with the peal of truth and the tang of fear. He couldn't go there, not now, not with Thirteen staring at him. With monumental effort he sublimated the choking nausea, and the question that had caused it. The feat left him spent, with no reserves of patience. So, when Thirteen sighed... it set off an explosion of anger. Anger about the weakness he felt, about the fear he had for Wilson, about having to have her here, all of it…

"Don't fucking expect me to entertain you… I don't want you here anymore than you want to be here. If it didn't mean losing my license, I would tell you to get your perky little ass the hell out of here!"

The outburst was like a slap in Thirteen's face, and it sparked a conflagration all her own.

"Maybe if you weren't such a fucking baby I wouldn't have to be here. It's not my fault my boss is an irresponsible, self-indulgent, drug addicted, crazy, ASS!"

The words were out before she could stop herself… 'Shit, I can't believe I just said that' she flinched in anticipation of House's response.

Thirteen's rant lashed out like an expertly wielded whip. It stung, so much so, that he found himself stricken mute by the vehemence of the tirade. He knew he was an ass, but he thought Thirteen and he had an unspoken bond. Apparently, he was very, very wrong.

House laughed derisively "Well tell me how you really feel Dr. Hadley. I mean come on, don't beat around the bush." With that, he stood up and stomped three legged-ly out of the room.

Remy groaned "Dammit…"

She knew it was better just to let him go and not say anything.

'Besides isn't it the truth…except for the crazy thing' she winced as she realized what she'd said.

She didn't have a real problem with any of the rest, she'd say it all again. But, she felt like crap about the "crazy" remark, even House doesn't deserve that. It was just cruel, and she was many things but cruel wasn't one of them… 'Was it?'


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Here's an update. Thanks to all my wonderful readers and reviewers!!! You are all great, and I love hearing from you.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own House

Wilson was drifting … Voices he didn't recognize, words he did…a tug, a squeeze of the arm, someone calling his name.

"James…"

"James…"

He fought his way back from the leaden tomb of sleep. Momentarily he thought he was back at PPTH as a patient he began to panic. "Get me out of here…Don't want to be here." He mumbled.

"James, you're not in Princeton… remember? This is Philadelphia."

He was staring into concern filled emerald pools, and he remembered.

"Delilah. Did you get the labs? The car?" he began asking questions rapidly, like he was doing rounds with some third years. "What about the fluids?"

"Hey, I am the attending here James, cool your jets." Delilah admonished him in a slightly irritated tone.

He took in his surroundings, she had put leads on him, pulse oximeter, and he could see a half-full bag of ringers, where normal saline had hung before. 'Guess I was dehydrated, sats look good, heart rate a little tachy, BP good.'

She was staring at him watching him assess himself, she figured it must be terribly hard to be in his position, to be the head of oncology at a prestigious teaching hospital and then find yourself reduced to the role of patient, must be like trying to put the proverbial cat back in the bag. There was no air of medical mumbo jumbo to placate the patient, make them feel cradled in the mystery of the white coated gods, to have faith in their ability to heal. He not only knew what was behind the screen, but he was the man behind it, no great and powerful Oz, simply a man who now found he needed his own pair of ruby slippers.

"So _doctor_, can I get out of here now?" He said with a chuckle.

"Let's let this bag run a while longer. We can discuss where you'll be staying tonight."

"Ummm I need to use the restroom" his face reddened.

"Good! Here, let me help you up. I can have Kelly walk you there."She knew he would have been too embarrassed for her to take him.

After some wrangling James was sitting up his feet hanging off the bed, "Just sit for a minute and wait until you get your sea legs."

'Good idea' the room was on a tilt-a-whirl for few seconds he needed to let his blood pressure adjust, Wilson had met his quota for passing out this week.

"Okay? Good. Stay there while I go find Kelly."

To his dismay, Kelly was a beautiful blonde with aqua eyes who look like she should be on the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleading squad. All that gorgeousness did nothing to mitigate his embarrassment. He was hoping for a nurse somewhere along the Brunhilde lines.

They made it to the bathroom with no incident, and Wilson was grateful. It turned out that Kelly actually was an NFL cheerleader for the Eagles. 'I can't wait to tell House…'suddenly, his mood plummeted. 'Bet House is pissed. Wonder how he likes the shoe on the other foot. 'He couldn't fool himself he felt guilty. No amount of bravado would cover the uncomfortable pang he felt when he thought about abandoning his fragile friend. Wilson began to ponder this phenomenon, it seemed that every time he tried to be independent of House, or tried to do what James wanted apart from him, everything went horribly wrong and his heart ached to be with his friend.

Delilah was contemplating the next course of action while James was gone. She went into her office to check on a few things before returning to him. When she came back, she could see he was troubled by something, but didn't know if she should ask. She decided to leave it alone for now, and let James tell her if an when he was ready.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Any trouble?"

He smiled "You could have warned me she was so…" he blushed.

"What? Efficient? Conscientious? Professional?" she was teasing him but there was a slight edge to it.

"Yeah… That's it." He quipped. It was odd how he found it so easy to fall into banter with her, perhaps it was because she reminded him of House in some way, or was it because he had nothing to lose so there was no reason to hide behind a wall of politeness.

"I think you are done, let me get Kelly to get you ready to go, I am going to check on a few patients before we go."

"Where are we going?" he asked. Half way hoping she would say her place, for no other reason than he couldn't bear another night in a hotel.

She had thought about that, she didn't really want him to be alone in his condition, but didn't want to admit him to the Hospital either though she realized at some point he may require hospitalization, she didn't want to play that card now. Therefore, that left her place. There were dozens of reasons why that was a bad idea, but there wasn't a better option available.

"Well, I know it's a bit unorthodox but I think you ought to stay with me." She tried to be nonchalant.

Wilson breathed a sigh of relief, he didn't care he was going to stay at a strangers house if it kept him from being alone. It was funny how dying made you throw off such things as propriety.

"Thank you."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Here it is, I am struggling to evoke a mood, and PUSH the plot. And dialogue! Don't get me started on that damn dialogue! *sigh*

Please Read and REVIEW!!!! Need all the help I can get !!!!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own House

Wilson lay in the dark thinking. 'I should be sleeping.' In moments like this, when he was alone with his thoughts, there was no avoiding himself. Not even the act of talking to Amber would turn his mind away from the truth he avoided in the light of day.

"I am going to die." There, he said it. Nevertheless, the act of whispering in the dark did nothing to lessen the gravity of the statement. He gasped involuntarily; the enormity of speaking the words aloud shook him from the haze of denial, and crushed him beneath a mountain of despair. Silent tears of regret streamed down his face, as he tried to reconcile the farce his life had become.

He looked at the culmination of his life and found it lacking, he had his title, a lab coat, a ridiculously expensive loft, and House. That's it, one person; one relationship is what his life boiled down to. Sure, there were other people in his life that he cared about and even considered his friends, but House was apparently the equivalent of his soul mate, screw that, he was his soul mate. For some reason they were inextricably bound to one another and nothing seemed capable of separating them, not betrayal, not resentment, not addiction, not abandonment, not even the death of his girlfriend. Wilson now knew that he and House would be friends until death. After all the hell this friendship had put them through, he had been looking forward to the peaceful companionship they were finally building.

House had shown him so much courage, and forgiveness that he did not deserve, it mystified him. Seeing the roaring lion that was House reduced to a broken, husk of a man, had made Wilson take a hard look at the way he treated House in the past. He realized that he had lorded himself over House, had stood as king of the mountain upon his supposed moral superiority. When Cuddy brought him into his office, trembling and fearful, the icy bitterness secreted away in his heart melted at the utter fragility of friend.

Today, the love he felt for House was a deeper one, and a truer one. Their friendship was part of him on a cellular level, written on his DNA.

The cruel irony of his impending death threatened to destroy the one thing he still had; House. If he could do anything to spare his friend the torture of watching him die, then he would. Disregarding the fear and uncertainty, and the sheer desolation he was feeling, he would do this alone.

* * *

House lay in his bed trying to calm the cold fury burning in his chest. 'Where the hell does she get off talking to me that way?' The shame he felt, when she had called him crazy was irrational, and made him feel small.

He found himself craving the sweet embrace of oblivion. His breath came faster and shallower. His mouth went dry, the urge to self-destruct pounding against his resolve. He had to get out of here, he felt trapped, and he longed for vicodin. He wanted it with a preternatural desire, the craving stalking him, sneaking up on its devious paws , laying in wait, to sink its teeth deeply into his throat, his fate fixed in its gnashing, feral, maw. The black beast would never let go until House was forever, lost to this life.

'… I don't know if I can do this… Wilson is dying…'


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Here's an update, not the most exciting chapter but will get the story going… Sorry for the wait… there will be more soon promise.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own HOUSE M.D.

Please read and Review

The next morning was a tense one. House was still pissed over what Thirteen said to him, she was still trying to smooth things over. Somehow, they managed to get ready for work without killing one another. By the time they were in the car Thirteen had enough and she turned to House and said "House I am sorry I yelled at you, I shouldn't have said those things."

"Dr. Hadley, you should never back down from something you believe with such conviction."

She sighed at that. "House, I don't really believe those things about you. I just lose my temper and my mouth runneth over…Please forgive me?" Part of her believed the horrible things she'd said, but after thinking about nearly all night she discovered, that she didn't feel that way towards House. She found she admired him, and enjoyed his exotic mind.

He responded with silence, they rode into work with only the sound of their breathing passing between them. House finally spoke as they were walking into the lobby,

"Let's just forget it okay? I don't have time or energy to deal with this crap right now."

"Okay… thanks." House nodded and they walked into the hospital.

As they rounded the corner for the clinic House said "You go do some time in the clinic I have to talk to Cuddy."

"Sure, I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah, I'll catch up with you for a ride home."

As they parted ways House veered right, walking past Cuddy's assistant and straight into her office. Lucas and she were already waiting for him. He acknowledged them as he sat down on Cuddy's ugly couch.

"Lucas."

"House."

"Well….I talked to my guy at the Lojack place, they found Wilson's car."

House's heart flipped in relief and he stood up . "What are you waiting for? Let's go."

"House, I'm not so sure you ought to run down there and confront him. Maybe we should give him more time." Cuddy said.

"Cuddy, I am not letting him do this. He isn't going to run away and die just because he's scared of hurting us, and scared of what will happen."

"I know House, but consider giving him some space. He will come to you eventually."

"Lisa, I can't wait for eventually… He's all I have."

Cuddy's eyes teared up at the heartfelt admission. She knew it was true, that she no longer had a place in House's life. She had removed herself utterly and left only the space to be his boss. Wilson was truly all House had left, and he was losing him. She felt an ache in her chest for them all.

"I know House, but think about how you can help him the best right now."

"The best thing I can do for James Wilson is to find him and get him to quit being such an idiot."

"Ummm, I may have some information that will help you decide what to do." Lucas interjected.

"What?" Lisa and Greg said simultaneously.

"Well I took the address of where his car is, and pulled up a street map that shows the businesses and neighborhoods in the area. What I found was his car was very near the Philadelphia Oncology Associates clinic."

The room was silent as House and Cuddy deliberated over this new information. Finally, House broke the silence and said "So, that's probably a coincidence."

Cuddy snorted "You cannot be serious House… It's obvious Wilson is there for a reason. I think we should leave him alone."

House knew she was probably right, but he still couldn't let go of his need to be there, to have some measure of control. He had to KNOW Wilson was okay, that he was getting treatment. If he couldn't see it for himself he would go insane with worry, and let's face it insanity was the last thing he needed. He formed a plan, a convoluted and somewhat sneaky plan but one he thought they could all live with.

"Lucas, how much would it cost me to have you go to Philly and check this out?"

Lucas, looked at House with understanding, and said "Look House, I'll go down there for nothing. I just need to know what you want me to do ."

"Wait a minute. Lucas you can't interfere in Wilson's life like this. It's private."

"Lisa, I am not interfering, House is right Wilson is being stupid. He needs his friends and family right now. I am going to help find him, and House is going to help him get through this."

Cuddy couldn't believe her ears, Lucas siding with House. She pinched her mouth closed when she saw the self- satisfied smirk on House's face.

"What? Lucas was mine first." House said.

They all laughed a slightly strained laugh and Lucas began describing what he had in mind.

Wilson awoke in Delilah's apartment, slightly disoriented. He heard noise coming from down the hall, she was singing the Rolling Stones no less. He smiled she was more than a little off key; he assumed she had her iPod on because she sounded loud. It took him a minute and quite a bit of effort, but he drug himself up and out into the living room. Her apartment had a great room type lay out, so the kitchen was separated from the living room by a large island. She was so involved in making coffee and singing she didn't notice him standing there watching her with a bemused expression on his face. She spun around on her heel and startles when she sees James standing there.

"James! You scared me!" Her face was crimson. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Oh about two verses worth."

'Damn, busted.'

"So are you going to keep standing there are you going to help?"

He smiled and walked around the island to the kitchen. He was still a little dizzy, but he was able to hide it. "Sure what can I do ."

She watched him closely he was good at hiding but she could see how tired he was. "Well, really I could use the company. You sit there and talk to me while I make the French Toast."

Wilson sighed with relief; he really wasn't up to standing. He sat in the leather-backed barstool Delilah pointed to. "So what's the plan for today?"

"After breakfast we'll get ready and head to the clinic. And we'll get you started on your chemo protocol."

Wilson shivered at the thought of the impending treatment, and then flushed with shame over his fear. Being an oncologist, he should be more stoic, more willing to face the very thing that he had asked countless patients to do. But he was hesitant and more than a little terrified.

"Yeah, okay."

She could feel his fear and didn't want to make him more skittish, but she had to ask. "James, is there anyone we should call? I mean you really shouldn't be alone."

His fear turned to aggravation. "No, I don't want anyone. Besides I won't be alone you'll be there."

She smiled "Okay, for now we'll keep it on the down low. But if something happens all bets are off."

"I can live with that." He grimaced at the unspoken 'I hope so' behind his words.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: And…. Here's an update.

Disclaimer: Do NOT OWN HOUSE M.D.

Read … Review… Whatever.

Wilson shivered as the cold fluid flowed into his veins, he knew what these drugs were going to do to him, and was well aware that the odds of him achieving complete remission or CR was rare. Being an oncologist he knew wonderful bits of data, such as the three year survival rate was somewhere around twenty percent. He also knew he should be doing CNS prophylaxis with intrathecal chemotherapy to protect his brain and the rest of his nervous system… but it would require being in a hospital and he wasn't ready for that. Wilson had the great misfortune to have one of the most treatment resistant cancers there is, and it would require tremendous amounts of these horrendous drugs that could kill him before they cure him. So… he ran, from the looks people would give him, and he ran from the fact that every conversation would be about cancer; _his cancer, as well as his impending death._

Yet, what James ran from the most, the thing he didn't think he could bear, was watching his best friend try to cope. The fear of House losing it was why he ran all his own labs. It is why he took the records of his genetic markers and prognostic factors with him. Wilson couldn't let House find out how desperate things were… and expect him to remain stable. He did not have the strength to do this, and take care of Greg.

Lucas and House drove to Philly in what passed for a friendly silence. The plan was Lucas would do some investigating and House would hide out in a hotel until he knew what was going on, and then … well then all bets were off.

House sat staring out the window his mind doing its sifting through the facts, diagnosing the problem, and coming up with his own twisted logic. He knew why Wilson was doing this and it wasn't what everyone else believed it was. House knew it was because Wilson didn't trust him, and that hurt. Though to be fair, James had good reason to doubt his ability to be supportive. Nevertheless, it was close to breaking House's heart that Wilson ran from him and would not give him the chance to prove himself. The fact was, that James was dying, and didn't want him there. He felt an ache in his chest and his eyes started to tear up, and threatened to reveal his sorrow to Lucas. There was no way in hell he was letting Lucas see him be so weak.

Lucas knew House was hurting, and try as he might he couldn't help but feel compassion towards him. He knew the cantankerous jerk loved Wilson fiercely and after his recent loss of Cuddy to him, and his stint in Mayfield, Lucas was somewhat worried as to how House would be able to handle doing this, and do it with the man who won Cuddy.

Lisa Cuddy was pacing her office unable to concentrate, she was worried for House, and she was frantic about Wilson. It didn't help her nerves any to know that House and Lucas were alone in the same car, that they were going to be spending so much time together. She wanted Lucas but she still loved House. The crazy bastard was ingrained in her psyche and try as she might she couldn't wash that man out of her hair.

Foreman stared at the empty whiteboard his mind somewhere else, when Chase walked in to the conference room.

"Heard anything?" Chase said breaking Foreman's reverie.

"No, but Cuddy said she would let us know."

"What do you think will happen to House if he can't find him?"

"I don't know. One thing I do know is that losing Wilson will either kill him, or break him to the point of no return."

"Do you really think so? I think you all underestimate him, especially Wilson."

Foreman looked at Chase as if he were crazy. "Are you serious? Since when did you become his biggest fan?"

"Since he cared enough to try to help me."

Foreman didn't know how to respond. Somehow, despite his unruly behavior, House managed to do just enough good to get people to love him. Though he would never admit it, Foreman cared for the curmudgeon a great deal.

"Yeah, I know… he has a way of surprising you with his humanity doesn't he?"

Chase found he was a little bit angry at that.

"I'm so sick of people judging him; he is the most human of us all. He has every foible but he is also noble, and often, though he keeps it under the radar, quite kind. Have you ever seen him with kids?"

"Yeah remember that autistic kid? Oh and the piano guy…"

"Exactly."

"Why do you think that is? Why does he like kids but not anyone else?"

"I think it's because they're innocent, they don't have a voice and because they are honest."

Thirteen and Taub walked in seconds before so they heard some of the conversation.

"You know I tried to hate the ass, but somehow I can't even with all the crap he says about me, and my wife. He has this hidden vulnerability that seems to balance it out."

"I don't know why I can't hate him either, he sure pisses me off and can be a real jerk, but he manages to charm me once in awhile too… "

Cuddy walked in at that moment, she could see what was going on and said "Are you talking about House?"

The four looked at each other and Foreman said "Yeah we are."

"We were trying to figure out how he gets to us… how he makes you love him despite his every attempt to keep you away." Thirteen said.

Cuddy was a bit thrown by her candor, and didn't have a quick response. Chase took the opportunity to ask the question they all wanted answered.

"Why do you love him?" The silence held them all in its grasp. They stared in shock first at Chase and then at Cuddy.

Lisa Cuddy was flabbergasted to say the least. She could feel the blush rising in her cheeks. They were all staring at her waiting for an answer, she was about to walk back out the door but something held her in place, and she made a conscious decision to answer them to a point.

"I love him because I have known him nearly my whole life. I love him because he's my friend."

Chase smirked at that, and had the overwhelming urge to say 'Yeah sure.' But Cuddy was his boss first and foremost. Every one of the team members were incredulous at her reply.

Cuddy could see they weren't buying it and said "Okay enough analyzing House, get downstairs and do your clinic duty, I'll call you when I know something, or if you get a case." Her tone was authoritative, she was the boss and they weren't House, so no one called her on her half-truth. They all rose to go serve time in the clinic, and collectively prayed a case would pop up and get them out of there.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Sorry for the tardiness of this update. Also I fear it may be lacking. But be forgiving as I currently am afflicted with the flu.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own HOUSE MD

"Oh my God…" Wilson groaned. He was vomiting for the fifth time in twenty minutes. 'I can't believe I asked people to do this…' He was already weak from the cancer but the chemo and its side effects had him barely able to lift his throbbing head. The shivering wasn't helping either. One minute he was freezing the next he felt like he was roasting alive. This was only the first day of treatment and he couldn't imagine how he could keep going. He felt himself slipping into sleep, his last thought before he succumbed to his fatigue was 'I can't do this…'

House and Lucas checked into the hotel and settled into the room. Lucas pulled out his laptop and began searching databases and running Wilson's credit cards, he was sure it wouldn't yield results but he had to try. He was a bit unnerved by House's silence; he was unused to this quiet version of the man. Though he always suspected that much of House's behavior was bravado this stoicism was unexpected.

"I thought you said you found his car."

"I did, but someone moved it."

"What? Well find it again!"

"I'm working on it."

"Wait, what about the clinic you found?"

"Yeah, I 'm on it. I figure I'll hack into their patient records, and see if he's in there. But, I bet you he's not in there. Surely, he knows better than to leave his real name if he doesn't want to be found."

"He uses fake names all the time, we both do."

"You think you could figure it out if you saw it?"

"I know I could. Doesn't matter he won't be on there."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because if it were me I would find a way to get treatment without a paper trail, pay with cash, etc."

"That would take a lot of cash."

"No biggie, Wilson's loaded." House said softly.

Lucas looked at House he looked exhausted and defeated; he felt a twinge of sadness seeing him this way. "Hey why don't you lie down and I'll order us some food. I can't really do anything until tomorrow, might as well get some rest. I have a feeling we're going to need it."

Cuddy sat in her living room staring out her window, ruminating over the question that House's team had asked. "Why _do_ I love him?"

While it was true that she had known him for ages, and it was also true that they were friends, it was obvious to all that there was so much more to it than that. It was a question she had been asking for years. And one she thought she had finally put to rest since she chose Lucas over House. But the truth was that Lisa Cuddy had always loved House in one fashion or another, and undoubtedly would forever. It didn't matter, she could never be with House and she had finally accepted it, and she thought he had too. Then why did she feel so damned bereft when she looked at him… Rachel began stirring in her crib, her soft whimper breaking Cuddy's reverie.

Delilah walked into the treatment room to find a pale and sweating James. He only made it two thirds of the way through the infusion before becoming sick, but she didn't want to hover. The pride in this man was intense. Kelly told her he was having a rough go of it and she raised his dose of anti-emetic, which was the extent of her interference.

"You look like crap."

Wilson's head popped up thinking for a moment that House had spoken the familiar phrase, it was the only way he ever expressed concern for Wilson's health.

"Yeah well I'm going for heroin chic." He quipped.

"Really? We'll have to get you some skinny jeans."

Wilson groaned "Do you think we could leave soon?"

"You sure you're up for it?"

"Well aside from the puking, the axe buried in the middle of my skull, and the lovely way I keep shivering I think I'm doing pretty well."

"Great! Okay I'll have Kelly bring me a chair and we'll head out."

Wilson had lain back down and closed his eyes before she could finish her sentence. 'He's weaker than I would like so early into this process. I wish he'd let me call someone.'

House lay in the hotel room staring at the ceiling, listening to Lucas' soft snoring. It was driving him crazy wasting his time sleeping, when he knew Wilson needed him. 'Wilson where are you? How can you do this to me?' He lay there trying not to cry again. "God this sucks," he whispered aloud.

In Delilah's spare room Wilson lay trembling, one minute he was freezing the next he was soaked with sweat. His mouth tasted like metal, and was as dry as a desert. He wouldn't complain, he was an oncologist and it would be unseemly for him to be a whiner. At some point during the night he began to spike a fever, his doctor's brain told him something was wrong but he couldn't think straight nothing seemed real, he was very out of it. He tried to figure out where he was but as he stood up from the bed, he blacked out.

Delilah heard James suffering stoically in the next room. She winced as she heard him moan in pain. James had made it very clear that he didn't want any extra help. 'Damn stubborn man.' However, when she heard him hit the floor all bets were off, she was a doctor first and foremost. She ran down the hall to find James lying in a heap on the floor pale and shivering.

"James, James are you alright?" She bent down to check his pulse and hissed to find his skin burning up.

"James…James can you hear me." Delilah knew then she had made a terrible mistake James Wilson should have been in a hospital, and that was exactly where he was going now. Running to the living room she picked up the cordless and dialed 911, gave the dispatcher directions to her home and directions for the EMT's. She ran back to James's side making sure he maintained an airway.

"Oh James I am so sorry…" She cradled his head in her lap and waited for the ambulance. She knew he was going to be pissed.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I am a horrible human being I know. Please forgive me.

Disclaimer: I do not own HOUSE

Read. Review. Whatever.

* * *

The ride to the hospital was full of frenetic activity. They medics put in an IV with a large bore needle to pump up Wilson's fluids and hopefully to cool him down. His fever was raging and he was on the brink of frying his brain. Delilah, sat next to him directing the EMTs when they needed it but otherwise stayed out of the way. She sat staring her eyes never leaving Wilson's trembling body. Her mind played an endless track of recriminations over and over it convicted her of her hubris, her recklessness, because of her James Wilson may die, not from leukemia but her foolishness. They arrived at Philly General quickly, she ran into the ER following the gurney let the crew spout Wilson's vitals to the attending and then jumped in.

"Dave, he's my patient has ALL just started chemo today and crashed."

"Anything else I should know like maybe his name?"

She froze this was a moment where she would make a choice. On that would expand into scenarios she wasn't prepared to deal with. Moreover, that was the whole problem, she didn't think, she'd allowed her ego and a stupid crush cause her to make promises she had no business giving James. She was a doctor, she had pretty well screwed the Hippocratic Oath nine ways to Sunday but now was her chance to get back on the sanity train, and she decided to take it.

After what felt like minutes but was really several seconds, she responded to her colleague "His name is Dr. James Wilson; he's head of oncology at Princeton Plainsboro."

"Okay we have ourselves a heavy hitter, guess we better do our best work." He winked at her in an effort to ease the tension, it didn't work. "Anyway— does he have family? Oh and what about drug allergies?"

"I don't know for sure, but I am going to call Princeton while you get him stable, and no he doesn't have any known drug allergies." She hands him a piece of paper. "Here's the chemo protocol he's on. I'll be right back but find me if things get worse, okay." Her tone showed her fear.

"Go D. We will take good care of him. But we do need his history and whoever can speak for him. Don't worry I'll come find you if there's a problem."

"Thanks Dave"she called as she walked away to find a place to call away from the noise and the monitors.

Wilson began doing much better. His fever was slowly coming down and the threat of a febrile seizure was much lower, so when he began seizing they were surprised. Fortunately, they were able to get it under control quickly.

Delilah took a deep breath and dialed information for the ER of PPTH. She was thrown by the automatic connection her heart full of dread.

A brusque female voice answered with a rapid fire "ER. Can I help you?"

She gave a brief explanation of who she was and asked to speak to the attending. In what felt like an eternity he finally came to the phone.

"This is Dr. Chase, how can I help you?"

"I assume you know Dr. James Wilson?"

Chase's heart was in his throat "Yes! Do you know where he is?"

The obvious concern in his voice helped soften the trepidation she was feeling. "Yes, he is currently in the Philadelphia General emergency room."

_Oh my God! I have to call Cuddy!_ "What's wrong with him?"

"Dr. Chase unless you have a power of attorney I can't give you those specifics." She wasn't really being a stickler about the rules she just wanted to find out who James placed as his proxy.

He was pissed by her response. "Well Doctor as you may have noticed I am also _a doctor_, so why don't we call it a consult?"

"Because it is obvious you don't fit into the category of doctor at this moment. You are definitely in the family and friends column, and I don't feel it's appropriate to share the details until I speak with whomever has his POA."

He sighed too tired to argue the finer points of interpreting the HIPA laws. "Fine, I will check he may have changed it recently. Why don't you give me your number and I'll call you back."

"Okay, that works. I want to get back to him now. Thank you Dr. Chase. I'll expect to hear from you soon."

He heard the empty silence of an ended call, frustrated because he wanted more details. Just then a trauma came in and Chase was soon in the middle of an attempt to stabilize the young man with a gunshot wound to the abdomen. Wilson would have to wait.

"Got him!" Lucas exclaimed.

"What do you mean? Where is he?"

Lucas paused, House wasn't going to like this and he would probably freak out.

"Dammit Lucas just tell me!"

"He's at Philly General. Just came in the ER—by ambulance."

House walked over to the door of the hotel room without a word and opened it. "Are you coming?"

Lucas grabbed his keys and followed House out to the car. They stayed silent for several minutes until Lucas asked "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm doing great. My best friends in the hospital _dying _I'm peachy."

Lucas winced. "Sorry. Listen, House if you want to talk or anything…"

House gave a sarcastic laugh "What in the hell makes you think if I did want to _talk _it would be with _you_?"

_I can't blame him for feeling that way. _Lucas nodded his head, "Okay, but what are you planning?"

"I _plan _to find Wilson. After that I don't know."

They pulled into the ER parking lot of the huge hospital, and Lucas was barely parked before House had jumped out of the car. The man's agility always astounded him.

"House wait!" Lucas ran up to the quickly retreating figure and placed his hand on his shoulder.

House turned and gave Lucas a look full of cold menace and in a whisper said "Get your fucking hands off me."

"Whoa, calm down House. I just want you to think about what you're doing before you go in there and make a scene. Think about James and what he would want you to do."

"Don't you dare to presume that you have the right to think you know what I will do, or what Wilson would want from me. Now leave me the fuck alone." He walked into the automatic doors and left a bewildered Lucas standing there.

_Ah hell, this is gonna be bad. _Lucas pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Lisa.

"Hello? Lucas?"

"Yeah babe, it's me. We found him."

"Oh thank God! Where is he? Where's House? Let me talk to him."

Lucas waited for the barrage of questions to end before answering.

"Lucas?" She asked concerned.

"Are you ready for me to answer now?" He was a bit irritated and it showed.

"Oh. Yes, I'm sorry."

"To answer your first question Wilson is at Philly General in the ER. His name popped up on the program I had filtering all hospital admissions for him. Secondly, House just walked into the hospital, and thirdly that's why I called you, I need you to talk to him. I'm worried he might lose it."

_Crap._ Lucas was right this had all the potential of turning into a disaster. "Okay thanks I will call him. I have Rachel's nanny here on standby so I will head out. I should be there soon. Lucas?"

"Yeah, still here."

"Keep an eye on him for me, _please."_ She knew what she was asking.

"I will Lisa, drive safely, but get here soon I don't know how long I can keep this powder keg from going off."

He had the sound of sad resignation in his voice. She cringed at his tone. "Thank you so much. I love you."

"Yeah, love you too. Now call him."

The phone went click, and he was gone. She took a deep breath and dialed House's cell.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Well, kiddies here's an update. It is my Easter resolution to finish up all my stories, and I may use all of my kids Spring Break to do it.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own HOUSE MD But you bet your ass if I did we would have a new episode each week.

Tell me whatcha think. Thanks for reading.

* * *

House strode into the ER daring anyone to stop him from seeing Wilson. He was pissed and scared, not a good combination for whoever got in his way. He walked past the automatic doors and past the nurse's station and heard someone calling out he's seizing. It was Wilson, he had no doubt, he ran as fast as his cane would take him to the bay with all the activity.

* * *

Delilah walked back from the phone at the nurse's station and was nearly mowed down by a man speeding by with a cane. She heard the commotion from Wilson's curtained room too and ran. The two arrived at the same time, House pulled back the curtain and said, "How long?"

"How long what? And who are you?" A young ER doctor spat out at the stranger.

"He means how long has he been seizing Dave."

"Oh, we're at the 90 second mark, we gave him 2mgs. of Ativan he seems to be coming out of it now."

"Get out of my way." House growled and pushed his way in between the nurse and the attending.

"Sir, you need to leave. I don't want to have to call security."

"Knock yourself junior. I'm not going anywhere."

Delilah stepped in before things got out of hand. "Are you a friend of James'?"

"I thought so." He whispered.

The look of despair on his scruffy face gave Delilah a pang of concern.

"Dave, he's doing better. Why don't you give us a minute?"

Dave nodded and walked out of the cubicle.

Delilah pulled a chair over to the bed and offered it to the man.

"No thanks. I'll stand. Who are you? Let me guess—a nurse ?"

She huffed "Why do you men always assume I am a nurse? I happen to be an oncologist!"

"I knew you were, just wanted to needle you."

"How did you…Who are you?"She looked at him with curiosity.

House thought a moment and decided to tell her the truth.

"Dr. Gregory House, now how about you?"

_House! The House? Oh my God. Wow. Don't be too much of an idiot D._

Clearing her throat, she said, "I'm Dr. Delilah McLaren it is an honor to meet you Dr. House."

He took her hand and shook it with an air of disinterest. She wasn't bothered by his attitude. The man was a god, and his reputation for behaving badly preceded him. However, when you had the brain the size of a planet you could afford to be a jerk.

"What happened?" He finally said.

She noticed he never took his eyes off James.

"Dr. House, no disrespect but as his physician I cannot give you that information."

"You have to be joking. I am his best friend and his physician of record. You can call PPTH and confirm if you want to. But I will find out one way or another." His tone was dismissive.

He had thrown down the gauntlet, but she was not easily intimidated. She had a choice she could take what he said at face value and take a chance he was telling the truth, or she could put her foot down. She looked at the pale face of James Wilson and wondered what he would want her to do, and then realized it didn't matter. At this point, she needed to save his life and the niceties would have to wait.

House could see the battle within her reflected in her expressive green eyes. _Leave it to Wilson to find a beautiful girl as his oncologist._ The thought made him smile wistfully, and found him on the brink of tears, which only ignited his anger at his powerlessness.

Hers weren't the only expressive eyes, and as much as Greg House wanted to hide his feelings of despair he couldn't and that was what helped Delilah decide to tell him everything. This man loved James and that is what James needed.

She cleared her throat and began.

"This was his first day of chemo, and he was having a rough time. He must have had a subacute infection that took off like wildfire during the night. He spiked a very high fever was delirious and unable to walk. I called the EMT's and rode with him here. We were able to get his fever down to a more manageable level and I left to phone Princeton to find his medical proxy. While I was away he began seizing, we weren't prepared as his fever was nowhere near 105. I rushed over the same time as you arrived."

House had hoped the seizure was febrile in nature, but McLaren made it clear that wasn't the case. His heart sank, he suddenly didn't feel so well and noticed his leg had apparently caught fire while he was standing here. He needed to sit down, now.

Delilah waited for him to respond, she watched him with a mixture of compassion and fascination. She didn't expect him to turn white as a sheet and nearly pass out.

"Whoa there Doctor, I think you need this chair." She pushed him gently into the chair.

He was obviously in pain he bit his lip and held his breath as he tried to massage his leg into submission it wasn't working and his face was covered in a film of sweat. This was the worst breakthrough pain he'd had since he came back from Mayfield. He was sure it had to do with all the pacing and riding in cars with little to no sleep. _I don't have time for this!_

"Dr. House? Dr. House, can you hear me?"

He nodded. "What can I do to help you?"

House shook his head no, and motioned for her to go away.

"I'm sorry I can't do that Doctor. I'm going to check your pulse now."

The man was trembling from the pain, his skin had taken on a grey cast. She now was worried she might have a serious situation with him as well. She gently placed her tiny hand on his neck finding his pulse, he tried to shake her off but he didn't have the strength.

"Okay, Dr. House I know you understand what's happening here. Your heart rate is way too fast, and I'm betting your blood pressure is sky high. You need to be admitted until we get your pain stabilized."

He shook his head no, pushed himself up with his cane, and started to walk out of the curtained room. He got three steps and collapsed. _Oh hell._

"I need some help in here!" He was a tall man and he landed out into the walkway, there were nurses and doctors there in seconds.

"What the hell happened Delilah?" Dave shouted.

"He's in pain, tremendous pain. It's his leg, but there's something else going on too. His heart rate is way too fast and I was trying to get him to let me admit him when he tried to leave."

While she was telling them this, their hands never stopped moving. House was on a gurney, with monitors on him and an IV on board. They wheeled him into the room next to Wilson's and began assessing him.

"His heart rate is not just fast his rhythm is bad too. Let's get an ECG. His pulse ox is in the high 80s, not good." House started being combative as he came around, he pulled the leads off his chest and finger, then the O2 mask, they tried to keep him in the bed but he was too strong.

"Get your fucking hands off me!" He wheezed.

"Doctor House you need to calm down you are experiencing a cardiac event."

Delilah saw Dave pale at the name, he looked at her with a awe and she shook her head yes.

"You idiots, I'm in a fucking lot of pain of course my heart is—Oh crap…" he slumped back grabbing his chest and didn't speak again.

"Show me the tape!" Dave yelled at the nurse next to the ECG machine. Mean while Delilah put everything back on House.

"MI… He's having a heart attack. Gregory, fucking, House is having a heart attack in my ER." Dave groaned loudly as he began trying to get the infamous doctor's heart and blood pressure to behave.

One curtain away James Wilson was waking up just in time to hear Dave's complaint.

_No, House, don't you do this to me… Dammit you always have to show me up don't you?_

Wilson lay there weak and miserable with tears steadily leaking out his eyes and into his ears. He was too tired to wipe the offending fluid away and too upset to care.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Here is a long overdue update. I could give you all the reasons it has been so long but that would take another year. So I will just ask your forgiveness. I know the situation has changed dramatically on the show since I began this but I think it's still worth finishing.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own

Read and review, yell and complain.

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While House was in the middle of a heart attack, Cuddy was flying down the highway to Philadelphia hoping that House hadn't gotten himself thrown out of the hospital for causing a huge scene. Her phone rang breaking her reverie. She pushed the hands free setting on her steering wheel and answered.

"Hello."

"Lisa, it's me."

"Lucas, I'm on my way to Philadelphia. We found Wilson he's in the hospital."

"Lisa, House—"

She groaned "What did he do now?"

Lucas gritted his teeth and exhaled, this was going to be hard. "Lisa, he had a heart attack."

She slammed on the brakes nearly causing an accident, the sound of angry car horns whined past as she pulled over on the shoulder of the highway.

"What do you mean?"

"We found Wilson, he's at Philly General so I dropped House off at the ER to see Wilson and I went to park. By the time I came back into the ER House was already being worked on."

"Oh my God." Her head was reeling, this couldn't be happening.

"Lisa? Are you alright?"

"No… I'm sorry Lucas, I just need a minute." She sounded so lost.

"Sure, I understand." And he did, but he also felt like crap because he was insanely jealous of a man who was currently fighting for his life.

After what seemed like an eternity , Cuddy composed herself and said, " Lucas?"

"I'm here." His voice was guarded.

"Thank you. I am about an hour away; can you stay with them until I get there?" She knew she was asking a lot of him but the thought of no one being there terrified her.

He sighed, of course he would wait. _Did she think he was that big of a prick? _"Yeah I'll be here, you drive safely and I'll see you in an hour."

"Thank you so much Lucas, you don't know how much this means to me."

_I know exactly how much …_ "Sure, no problem. Well …"

"Bye." Her voice sounded so far away.

"Bye, Love you Lisa."

_Click _

It wasn't until she was back on the road that she realized she'd hung up without telling Lucas she loved him too. _Oh Damn…_

########################################################

Lucas came back into through the automatic doors to the ER and walked up to the nurses' station.

"Hi, um any news about Greg House?"

"I'm sorry I can't tell you anything unless you're family."

"Yeah, okay. How about James Wilson?"

"Again, I can't—"

"Look I'm in a bit of a jam here, two of my friends are back there, maybe dying I kind of want to know they're alive." He oozed charm and concern.

She sighed and said "Wait here, I'll see what I can do."

##########################################################

"Meds on board, what next."

"Give 'em a minute." There was only the sound of the ambu bag and the monitors squealing for a moment.

They waited anxiously but the monitors didn't change.

"Still vfib! Get the cart."

Wilson groaned as he heard his friend being shocked and then shocked again.

"Charging to 300. Clear!"

He saw the shadow of his friends chest arching up from the bed through the curtain and he prayed with breathless anticipation that the third time would be the charm.

It wasn't. "Still vfib. Charging to 350. Clear!"

_Oh my God House! Greg don't do this to me._

He was panicking at the thought that his friend whom he was so worried about protecting was dying right next to him. Then he heard a beautiful sound, the regular beep of a sinus rhythm.

"Normal sinus… Good job guys. Stacey get cardio down here for a consult and start his admit paperwork. Delilah can I have a word?"

"Sure Dave, just a minute though. I need to check on my patient."

She pulled back the curtain to find a very awake and very distressed James Wilson.

"Oh James, I am so sorry about your friend."

"Is he okay?" he cringed at how stupid that question sounded.

"Yeah it was a bit touchy there, but he's got a decent rhythm now and cardio will be down to see him soon."

"I can't believe this is happening. It's all my fault."

"How can you say that? Don't be ridiculous."

"If I hadn't run away none of this would have happened."

She couldn't really argue with his feelings but had to try to appeal to his logic. "James you cannot seriously believe that you have any control over whether House had a heart attack. Sure he was here instead of in Princeton, but he could have had a heart attack anywhere, you should be thankful that it was here in the ER."

He knew it was true but it didn't feel any better. He still felt like he was losing it.

She could see his attempts at remaining composed were failing him and she wanted to just hug him and tell him it would all be all right. But she had already screwed up her objectivity enough, and she needed to be his doctor and not his friend so she changed the subject.

"James, you are being admitted to ICU yourself, so let's focus on that for now. "

"ICU? I don't need—that's too much. A regular room will be fine. Just stick me in oncology."

"I would but you have an infection and you also had a seizure, and before you say it no it wasn't a febrile seizure."

He thought for a moment. "Still, I don't need ICU."

Delilah looked at him for a moment and realized he was probably right she was being overprotective. "Okay, but you will at least be in the step down for tonight. Now about that seizure…"

"Yeah, I know CNS involvement." He sounded so utterly defeated it scared her.

"So I guess we'll have to do an LP and then we need to look at the whole interthecal chemo."

"Just set it up, whether it's that or not, I want it done and we need to keep up the regular chemo, I don't want to wait anymore."

Delilah was surprised by how adamant he now seemed about fighting his cancer.

"Sure, let's see what the cultures say and let the antibiotics work first. I also have added some platelets to help get your numbers back up."

"Sounds good, is there any way you can put me in a room with him?"

_Oh now I get it, you want to fight because of him. I'll take what I can get._

"I'll see but no guarantees. Get some rest James, and I'll check on you after they get you settled."

"Thanks Delilah."

"My pleasure." With that she left him to his thoughts but didn't close the curtain.

He lay there watching House's breath fog up his oxygen mask in a life affirming rhythm.

_I am so sorry House, I didn't mean to do this to you. _ He fought the urge to cry. His silent torment was interrupted by the cardiology attending.

"Let's see what we have here." The older man picked up House's chart and began reading it. "Ahh the famous Dr. House I see. Well my friend you have gotten yourself in quite a pickle."

"That's funny I thought this was a hospital and not a condiment." House's raspy snark was the most beautiful sound Wilson had ever heard.

"House!" Wilson sat up regretting it immediately as the room began spinning and black spots began filling his vision.

The cardiologist ran over to steady Wilson before he toppled out of the bed. "Whoa there my friend! I think you should lie back down."

"Wilson, you idiot lie back down!" His feeble shout brought a smile to Wilson's face.

"I'm so glad you're alive." Wilson gushed.

"Likewise." House replied seriously.

The cardiologist stood between the beds and looked at each of them and then spoke. " I can see you two are great friends, but I need you to be quiet while I speak with Dr. House about his condition."

They nodded in agreement.

"Good, now where were we? Ahh Yes, my name is Dr. Samadi I will be your cardiologist as it happens I am also the department head. As you can imagine Dr. House your reputation precedes you, but I have no fear that you and I will get along famously."

This sweet older man was right House liked him immediately; he could see that there was no way he could play the cardiologist.

"So what's the verdict Doc?"

"Well you have had a heart attack, I'm afraid."

"He has a prior history of infarction, his leg." Wilson blurted out.

Dr. Samadi looked at Wilson and continued. "Yes, well you will need to go to the cath lab and we'll take it from there. Meanwhile, try to rest. No excitement."

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"I mean no, I won't go to the cath lab, and in fact I won't be staying."

" House! What thehell?"

"Why Wilson, it's what you did?" House replied petulantly.

"It's not the same! And besides I am getting treatment." Wilson countered.

"Good for you! I'm not." House began sitting up but the cardiologist pushed him back down.

Dr. Samadi sighed, "You my friend are going nowhere, and if I have to I will get you a psych consult."

The look of terror that flashed across House's face made Wilson sick.

"Fine I'll stay but only until I am stable and then I'm leaving."

The older man replied, "I can work with that. Now you two settle down and rest." Then he was gone.

"I can't believe you had a heart attack." Wilson whispered.

"Yeah, and I can't believe you're such an ass." House retorted.

"What am I going to do House?"

"Get better." House said gently.

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End file.
